I Never Told You
by The Jackal's Vixen
Summary: Its the anniversary of Jake's death and a month after Robin's death. Elizabeth and Jason once again find themselves in the world of feeling nothing. They are back in the proverbial nowhere. Can they save each other like before? -HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAITLYN!-
1. Chapter 1

**Title: I Never Told You**

**Characters: Liason**

**Date: March 21, 2012**

**Things to know: The whole Franco thing never happened. Sam's not pregnant. Robin's dead. Patrick reluctantly saves Jason's life. Jason and Elizabeth both find themselves at an impasse in their lives.**

**Dedicated to: Caitlyn...Happy Birthday! Hope you like it! P.S. Return my CD. You know the one I mean.**

*Special thanks to those that suggested storylines. Caitlyn read them over and decided to put a few together, changing some facts. Hope you like it and I'll try to write the other suggestions if I can.*

The town was starting to thaw out from the harsh winter it has just endured, but she still felt cold to her core. Elizabeth has never felt so numb in all her life. When she lost Lucky way back when, she went numb but she never went this numb. It seemed to her that the losses were just piling up. First Emily then Jake, now Robin. Why did she have to keep losing the most important people in her life? She and Robin reached a point in their friendship that they relied on each other a lot. They both relied on each other the way she and Emily used to rely on each other. Now she's gone and Elizabeth, once again, is left to live on. How was that fair?

Cameron is angry with her. She doesn't know how to get through to him and she can't give him what he wants. He wants Lucky and he wants Jake. Both people she wishes were still around, but both people she has no way of giving back to her son. Aiden is still too young to process much of what's going on and that was a good thing in her opinion. Her youngest son could still go on with a childlike view of the world. Oh, how she wishes Cameron could return to that oblivion. Back to a place where he didn't hurt and where his father's absence wouldn't affect him so much.

Elizabeth wishes she could be a part of that oblivion as well. To see life the way her baby sees it. If only life worked that way. She tries to fill the void the best she can, but nothing seems to work. Dates with Ewen, for example, just aren't filling the void. As amazing as he might be, Elizabeth just can't open herself up to him. Not that she hasn't tried. Because she has and it just doesn't work. Her heart belonged to one man and that man will never be hers again. So, putting aside the dating world, Elizabeth tries to focus on her two sons, but finds that harder than dates with Ewen.

Thanks to Maxie, she doesn't have her job to occupy her time. Once again her life was flipped upside down by that wench and she's left to pick up the pieces from the damage Lucky and Maxie created. Admittedly, it was her fault as well, letting Lucky back into her life that way. Hoping for some kind of connection to fill the void.

With her boys asleep upstairs, Elizabeth sits with her Grams in the living room. Today wasn't a good day for her. Its the anniversary of the day she lost Jake and she just couldn't bring herself to feel anything. If she were to feel even the slightest bit of emotion, she's sure to unravel completely.

"No offence, my dear, but you look to be in shambles." Audrey commented, accepting the cup of tea from her granddaughter. "I know today must be hard for you."

"It is." Elizabeth concedes, running her fingers through her hair, fighting off thoughts of her son. "I'll live."

Her grandmother was unaware of the bitterness behind her words. The hard truth that she really would live while all those around her perished into death's hands. It was ironic if she thought about it. Taking a drink of tea, forcing the dark thoughts to recede, Elizabeth focuses on the here and now. Hoping that the memories will just stay at bay, hidden in the recesses of her mind.

"The boys are asleep." Audrey can see the cold distance in Elizabeth's eyes and it pulls tight on her heart strings. "Why don't you go visit little Jake?"

"I don't see what good that'll do." Elizabeth's voice plain, setting her cup down on the coaster. "I'm needed here. Cameron and Aiden could wake up at any time."

"I'll be here." Audrey says softly, standing up to get Elizabeth's coat and hand it to her. "You need this. Trust me."

Elizabeth eyed her grandmother for a moment. The memories echoing in her mind. Everything her grandmother ever said to her while she had been pregnant with Jake. She was a number one Lucky supporter, a part of her wondering what her grandmother now thought of the almighty Lucky Spencer now. Stifling any words that threatened to form, Elizabeth took the coat and walked out of her home. Maybe visiting her son will be good for her. It definitely couldn't get any worse. After everything she's been through, Elizabeth is once again back in a place void of emotions and life. Once again she's nowhere.

The anger and guilt has started to eat at him. Why would they keep this from him? Everything was starting to make sense and he couldn't believe that Patrick saved his life after losing Robin. The very thought of his first love sent aches through Jason that he never thought he'd feel again. He was slowly going numb. Once again someone he loves dies and he is left to live on without them. If there is a god, he must really hate Jason. Why couldn't he be the one to die instead of the people around him? Sam is in front of him, giving him every excuse in the book as to why she kept it from him, but he couldn't care. He couldn't feel anything because if he allowed himself to feel anything he was sure to fall to shambles.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her." Sam sighed, watching the cold distance in Jason's eyes. "I just knew that it would've killed you if we told you before the surgery."

"She died last month on the twenty-first." Jason muttered, looking through Sam than at her. "The irony is too much."

"The irony?" Sam eyed him, confused about what he meant.

"The irony." Jason shook his head, casting the images out of his mind, begging the memories to stay away. "I have to get out of here."

"You've been discharged so we can go home." Sam watched as he stood up, grabbing his jacket from the chair. "Monica's coming with your papers."

"I have to leave, now." Jason states, walking out of his room, starting to feel suffocated by being in that place. His son's death echoing in his mind.

"Jason, wait!" Sam chased after him, stopping him from walking past the nurses' station. "We have to wait for your papers."

"What's going on?" Monica questioned, walking up to them with the clipboard that had Jason's discharge papers. "Is everything okay?"

"He wants to leave." Sam kept her eyes on a very cold, distant pare of blue orbs. "You know he hates hospitals."

"Yes, of course." Monica shook her head, holding out the clipboard to Jason. "Just sign and you can go."

Jason didn't speak, afraid of what would come out of his mouth, signing the papers before brushing past Sam to the elevator. He couldn't be there much longer. Elizabeth's cries echoed through the air in that place. The sound of his son's machines being turned off echoed through halls. So many painful memories echoed through the halls of General Hospital and he just couldn't be there anymore. He couldn't take being around anyone in that moment. The irony of it all was threatening to swallow him whole. The worst of it all was Sam. She never should have kept Robin's death from him.

He was slowly slipping back into the numbness that had been his life. First he lost his sister. Emily was young and she didn't deserve to die the way she did, but it was his fault because Diego Alcazar wanted revenge for his father's death. Then Jake. He should have been protecting his son. He should have done so much for him, but even he was lost to death's hand while his father remained alive. Now Robin. She fought so hard to save him, sacrificing her own life in the process. After everything he has been through, all the fighting he had done, Jason's back in a place void of emotions and life. Once again he's nowhere.

"Jason?" Sam called to him, forcing him to look back at her. "Aren't you going to wait for me?"

"No." Jason says plainly. "I just want to be alone."

"Jason, you can't blame yourself for Robin's death." Sam says pleadingly, walking over to him. "You couldn't have prevented it."

"You don't know that." Jason states, yanking his hands out of her reach. "She died for me."

"It doesn't make it your fault." Monica chimes in, walking over to him. "She wanted to save you. Its not your fault."

"The irony." Jason mutters, hearing that from his mother was just ironic. "Robin's death is as much my fault as Emily's. We both know you believe I'm responsible for that."

Monica couldn't help but feel bad for blaming her son for the death of his sister. She seemed to blame him for every loss she has endured and, until that moment, she didn't realize just how badly that affected him. In her moment of silence, Jason walked onto the elevator, closing it in the faces of both women. He couldn't feel anything. He was more numb than he's ever been and Jason accepted it. He accepted the numb nothingness that has taken residence within him.

Both Elizabeth and Jason took the same path, ten minutes apart. They made their way to Emily's grave first. Both missing her now more than ever. Emily had been their voice of reason. She had supported them in everything, even if no one else supported them.

From Emily's grave, they made their way to Robin's grave. Both wishing they could say something, anything, but both had no words. The words wouldn't form and their voices failed them, so they simply stayed for a moment before moving on to their son. Elizabeth was kneeling in front of the headstone, her right hand flush against the granite, tears frozen in her eyes when Jason finally arrived to the gravesite. Like she did to him all those years ago, Jason clasped his hand on her shoulder, lending whatever strength he had left.

Elizabeth didn't have to look up to know who was there. She could feel his presence from miles away. Somehow they always seemed to find themselves together in times of tragedy. They've both suffered the same loses. Emily was a sister to both of them. When they lost her, they knew exactly how the other felt, a feeling no one else could understand. Then they both lost their son. Once again, both understood how the other felt. Now they've both lost Robin. They've both lost one of their best friends and both understand how the other is feeling.

No words of comfort are spoken. No empty attempts at helping each other cope are made. They just let each other be. Both grieving for the people they've lost. Both feeling the emptiness that now resides within them because they are left to live on without those they have lost. Twelve years later and they were both back in the nothingness that swallowed them whole all those years ago. Twelve years later and they are back to being nowhere. Both wishing the other wasn't there, but glad that they weren't alone in the nothingness. Glad that they weren't alone in proverbial nowhere.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's Note<span>: For those that didn't put it together, the irony that Jason's talking about is that Robin died on February 21 while Jake died on March 21. Exactly one month apart. And just to tell you in advance, Jake won't be coming back to life. I'm sorry. The loss is a necessary connection for them.**

**A little note to the person that messed with my friend Rocker's page. If you even think of hacking my page and deleting my stories, I will track you down and fly kick your face! For all of Rocker's fans, she apologizes for not being able to finish her stories. Unfortunately, she's not going to write anymore. I know it sucks, but she's going to be helping with my stories so you'll get a taste of her writing styles in the future chapters of my stories.**

**Back to the point...I hope you guys like this first chapter. I'll thank you in advance for the reviews. You guys all make writing a true pleasure and I'm so thankful to be able to share my thoughts and passion with you all.**

**Till next time...**


	2. Chapter 2

The night was as dark as it was cold. Jason and Elizabeth barely cared about the atmosphere around them. Neither could feel the cold. Their bodies reflected the feel of the world around them, cold and numb, dark to their core. Jason could see that she was hurting, it was evident in her eyes.

He couldn't remember a time where her eyes were so distant, it was like she wasn't really there, just going through the motions. As he helped her up from the ground to sit on the bench nearby, Jason wanted to say something, anything, to take her pain away, but once again his words didn't form.

"Should you be here right now?" Elizabeth whispers, her eyes never leaving her son's grave.

"Should you?" Jason counters, not wanting to talk about himself, but knowing she won't let it go that easily.

"I'm not the one that just had the umpteenth surgery on my brain." Elizabeth throws back, knowing just how good he is at deflecting. "Shouldn't you be at home?"

"What's home exactly?" Jason hears himself say. "The penthouse isn't home. It hasn't felt like home in a long time."

"I know what you mean." Elizabeth sighs, closing her eyes for a moment, begging the memories to stop. "Home just doesn't feel like home."

Elizabeth couldn't think of home in the same way anymore. Emily, her best friend, had been the one to find it. Elizabeth was pretty certain that she had thrown around the weight of the Quartermaine to secure that house for her and, whenever she looks at that place, all she could think about was Emily's excitement for it. She remembers how happy Emily had been when Elizabeth chose that place to live. Emily put so much effort into finding that place for Elizabeth and her boys, now the place echoes with her presence.

Then there's her son. Jake's presence is so strong in that house, even after an entire year has passed, and Elizabeth just couldn't be in that house without feeling like the walls were closing in. She missed her son so much. His laughter still echoes through the house, his bedroom still holds his presence and she just can't see that house the same way anymore. It wasn't home. It wasn't anything.

"If you aren't going back to the penthouse." Elizabeth finally turns to look at him. "Where will you go?"

"I don't know." he admits, watching the darkness in her eyes, wondering if his eyes looked anything like hers. "Its getting late."

Elizabeth glances down at her watch, realizing that she should get back to her boys. "Come on." Elizabeth stands up. "I have a place you can stay."

Jason follows behind her, no more words are spoken, both allowing the silence to fall over them. The storm within them recognizes the darkness that resides in the other, an understanding that both can grasp and accept.

In a world of loss, they draw each other in, their own life preservers in the sea of darkness. Jason gets into the passenger seat of her minivan, staring out the window as she starts the car and takes off into the night. His cellphone can be heard in the silence, but neither acknowledge it.

"New studio?" Jason questions as she unlocks the door.

"Yeah, but the same door." Elizabeth smiles slightly, but its barely there. "Nobody knows about this studio so you can use it for as long as you want."

"Same couch." Jason notes as she walks over to turn on the heater.

"Couldn't part with it." Elizabeth shrugs, securing her coat around her, she just felt so cold. "Keys are on the desk."

Jason stood there in silence as she walked out of the studio. No comforting words are spoken, no thanks needed or questions asked. She simply closes the door and leaves him to his thoughts. His cellphone has yet to stop ringing and Jason wondered if she'd ever give up. Pulling out his cellphone, Jason sets it down on the desk beside the keys before making his way over to the medium sized bed in the corner.

He couldn't help but wonder if she ever spent the night in this place. As thoughts of Elizabeth filled his mind, Jason couldn't help but think back over the years. As much as he wanted nothing more than to shut off his mind, the memories had another plan all together. They came in waves as his mind swarmed and didn't seem to want to stop. Jason dropped his head in his hands, begging for the memories to stop, but knowing they wouldn't. The visions in his head have only gotten clearer since Patrick saved his life and Jason could only wish to go back to the way his mind used to work.

Jason was never able to dream, but it seems like that's all he can do since losing his son. He's had dreams about him, Elizabeth, Jake and Cameron as a family. Various other dreams of his son. Now Robin has invaded his sleep. He dreams of talking to her, apologizing for everything, and having her simply smile. She tells him its okay, but he doesn't see how it could ever be okay. He doesn't see how its okay for her to be gone while he lives on.

"Gram, I'm back." Elizabeth calls out to her grandmother as she walks into the house.

"How was your visit?" Audrey questions, walking out from the kitchen with some hot cocoa. "Did it help?"

"Kind of." Elizabeth admits, remembering Jason's eyes mirroring hers. "You can go to sleep. I'm just gonna sit up for a little while."

"Okay." Audrey smiles slightly, hoping things will start to look up for her granddaughter. "Don't stay up too late. You need your rest."

Elizabeth shakes her head in agreement, watching her grandmother walk into the guest room before turning out all the lights. She made sure to leave nothing on, lighting two small candles on the table. The light was too much for her at this point. Settling into the couch for the night, Elizabeth closes her eyes and focusing on her breathing. As long as she focuses on something, the memories will stay at bay. Thanks to Bobbie, she's got her job back as a waitress and she'll be starting up in the morning. She needed some way to make ends meet until the thing at the hospital is settled.

"If I knew where he was, I wouldn't be here asking you!" Sam nearly shouted, growing tired of Carly's mouth.

"You're the one pushing away everyone that loves Jason!" Carly snapped, wanting to shove Sam's ass out the door. "How the hell should I know where he is?"

"That's all you had to say!" Sam groaned, running her fingers through her hair in frustration. "I don't have time for this!"

"Search all you want Sam!" Carly called out to her as she pulled the door open. "If Jason's the man I know he is, he's starting to realize just how big a mistake it was to marry you!"

"You know what, Carly..." Sam turned to face the blonde. "I don't care what you say, Jason loves me and we are forever! So do us all a favor and shut up! For once in your pathetic life, just shut up!"

"I wouldn't be so sure out of that if I were you." Carly smirked, knowing the whole story from her son. "You kept the sainted Robin's death from him. Mark my words, he won't let that go so easily."

"He's my husband." Sam stated through gritted teeth. "He'll understand why I didn't tell him."

"You really think you being married to him will matter?" Carly arched her eyebrow. "In case you forgot, he was married to Brenda and Courtney. You're not exactly the first Mrs. Morgan and you most definitely won't be the last. Trust me on that."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Sam stated, trying not to let Carly's words get to her.

"Don't I?" Carly challenged, eyeing her intently. "Word to the wise, Jason's heart isn't yours and it never will be."

"I know I'm going to regret asking, but what the hell are you talking about?"

"Jason threatened me when it came to Robin. He also threatened me when it came to Elizabeth." Carly folded her arms across her chest. "Never once did he ever threaten me when it came to you."

"He set boundaries with you and that's enough for me." Sam stated. "I'm not weak, I can handle you."

"Sure you can." Carly smirked, knowing she was getting to Sam. "The point isn't that you don't need him to protect you from me, the point is that he never felt compelled to. Which only proves my point. Jason didn't set boundaries until you made him set them. Elizabeth and Robin didn't need to tell him to...he just set them on his own accord."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Sam repeated, growing tired of Carly.

"Whatever you say." Carly shrugged. "We both know I have a point. Hell, his brain injury could be the sole reason he even went back to you in the first place. God I hope so...it'll mean that now that he's healed, you are going to be dropped like a hot potato and I can't wait to watch it happen."

Sam would never admit it, but Carly's words gave her pause. If anyone knew Jason, it was this blonde woman and she was certainly feeling smug. A smug Carly is never a good thing, especially since she's usually right about it. Glaring at the blonde for a moment longer, Sam spun on her heels and walked out in search of her husband. She won't lose Jason. They made it through so much, this isn't the end for them. Jason understands her better than anyone and he'll understand why she kept it from for so long. He will. He has to.

Jason's mind was running a million miles an hour, making him wish to god that someone would come along and just knock his ass out. He has turned out the lights, the only thing illuminating the studio is the moonlight coming through the windows. He tries to relieve the tension by rubbing at his temples, but not even that is working. With a irritated groan, Jason opens his eyes and it was like one of those scenes out of the movies that Sam has forced him to watch from time to time.

The moonlight shining on the painting of the wind, drawing him from the bed to stand before it, running his fingers lightly across the canvas. Jason feels the calm settle over him as he remembers the feeling that is portrayed in the painting. The cellphone still ringing on the desk as he picks up the painting and walks back to the bed. Maybe if he focuses on the painting, the memories will stay at bay.

If he just focuses on the feel of his motorcycle, he'll be able to get some rest. Sitting back against the headboard, Jason clings to the painting, completely ignoring the cellphone ringing in the distance as he imagines himself back on the bike. He can't bring himself to actually ride his bike, but maybe, just maybe, imagining the feeling will help. God he hoped so.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's Note<span>: Thank you all for your reviews. ROCkER appreciates your comments.**

**I'm working on getting her back to writing on her own page, I think I'm wearing her down some. For those who asked, her stories include: **

**1. From Port Charles with Love 2. I Am Who I Am 3. I Won't Say I'm In Love 4. Let Me Go 5. If You're Not The One 6. More Time 7. Perfect Two 8. The Story of Us**

**Those are the ones I was subscribed to. Anyway, thanks for the reviews and I hope you guys liked the update.**

**Till next time...**


	3. Chapter 3

_Skies are crying, I am watching_  
><em>Catching tear drops in my hands<em>  
><em>Only silence as it's ending<em>  
><em>Like we never had a chance<em>  
><em>Do you have to make me feel like<em>  
><em>There's nothing left of me?<em>

Elizabeth wakes up, realizing that she fell asleep on the couch, never making it to her room last night. Stretching her body, every part of her aching, Elizabeth trudges up the stairs to get ready for work. She never thought she'd ever be back to working at Kelly's, but found that it really didn't matter at this point. There was just too much that has happened that her occupation matter little to nothing at the moment.

She gets ready and goes to wake up her son. He has to go to school and she'll be dropping him before she starts her shift at Kelly's. Elizabeth is taken aback for a moment when her son wakes up and throws his arms around her. Elizabeth gives into the embrace, holding her son close.

"I'm so sorry." he whispers. "I love you!"

"I love you, Cam!" Elizabeth assures, rubbing her son's back soothingly. "Is everything okay?"

"I dreamed of Jake." Cameron admits, pulling away to look at his mom. "He said that I wasn't nice. I don't want to be mean."

"You're not mean." Elizabeth brushes her fingers against his cheek softly. "Its okay to be mad."

"I miss Jake." Cameron sighs, shaking his head. "Do you miss him, too?"

"All the time." Elizabeth concedes. "But it doesn't mean that I'm not here for you. It doesn't mean I don't love you too."

"I love you too, mommy." Cameron hugs Elizabeth tightly. "I'm sorry."

Elizabeth holds her son for a moment longer before getting him up to get ready. Her gram is taking care of Aiden today, so all she had to do was drop Cameron off at school before heading to the diner to start her shift. She'd be lying if she said that she wasn't surprised by Cameron's attitude this morning, but she wouldn't question it. Getting to the diner, Elizabeth gets to work as soon as she ties the apron around her. Waitressing was like riding a bike, once you know how to, you never forget how.

_You can take everything I have_  
><em>You can break everything I am<em>  
><em>Like I'm made of glass<em>  
><em>Like I'm made of paper<em>  
><em>Go on and try to tear me down<em>  
><em>I will be rising from the ground<em>  
><em>Like a skyscraper<em>  
><em>Like a skyscraper<em>

"My, how the mighty have fallen." the insipid voice of Maxie Jones speaks aloud. "You should stick to this, it suits you better."

"You should stick to drugging up husbands and ruining marriages, but then again, its only my life you have interest in." Elizabeth says bitingly, walking over to refill coffee cups.

"It should have been you to die in that explosion." Maxie states, blocking her way. "Robin didn't deserve to die."

"Same could be said about you." Elizabeth states, tired of Maxie's accusations. "From what I hear, you're the one that is partially to blame for the explosion. We all know you're clumsy, but hitting a gas line and turning it on...talk about clumsy."

Maxie reaches up to slap Elizabeth's face when her hand is caught by someone else's. Turning, she finds Matt holding tight to her wrist, preventing her from hitting Elizabeth. Maxie didn't even want to ask how Elizabeth knew that she had hit the gas line, she didn't want to know because she had confided in Matt about the possibility of it being her fault.

"Of course, jump to her defence." Maxie yanked her hand from Matt's grasp. "What's new? I hope you're happy together!"

"What was that about?" Matt asks Elizabeth when Maxie storms out of the diner.

"In order for me to know that, I'd have to understand Maxie." Elizabeth states, walking behind the counter. "Which I don't."

"I still can't believe you're working here." Matt sits at the counter. "You shouldn't have to work here."

"It is what it is." Elizabeth sighs. "Are you gonna order something or what?"

"Uh, yeah." Matt shakes his head. "Coffee to go."

"Okay." Elizabeth gives him his coffee, takes the money for it, and walks off to tend to other customers.

_As the smoke clears, I awaken_  
><em>And untangle you from me<em>  
><em>Would it make you feel better<em>  
><em>To watch me while I bleed?<em>  
><em>All my windows still are broken<em>  
><em>But I'm standing on my feet<em>

For the most part, her day was uneventful. That was until Ewen came walking into the diner. Elizabeth wasn't really sure if it was considered breaking up since they weren't really dating. Hell, she probably wouldn't know the difference at this point. She's never really dated before. It was always jumping in completely, never taking things slow with any of her guys, so this was kind of new to her. Whichever the case may be, she knew that she had to end whatever was going on with them. She didn't have it in her heart or in her mind to pretend to want to date him. She just didn't have the energy.

"Look, I honestly don't know what's happening between us." Elizabeth says politely. "I just really don't have the time or energy for you in my life. I'm sorry."

"You need to give things a chance, Elizabeth." Ewen says in that way he always does. "Survivor's guilt is something that not a lot of people can handle. You shouldn't give up just because your friend passed away."

"That's not what I'm doing." Elizabeth says seriously. "All I'm doing is handling my life the best way I know how. I need to focus on my family and I just don't have any room for you in my life. I'm sorry."

_You can take everything I have_  
><em>You can break everything I am<em>  
><em>Like I'm made of glass<em>  
><em>Like I'm made of paper<em>  
><em>Go on and try to tear me down<em>  
><em>I will be rising from the ground<em>  
><em>Like a skyscraper<em>  
><em>Like a skyscraper<em>

As she's ending things with Ewen, she starts to remember why she hated therapy. The way the doctors talk to you, its like you're a child and you don't know what your really thinking or feeling. Ending the conversation abruptly, Elizabeth gets back to work. She doesn't have the patience to care about others' feelings right now. Her son is finally opening up to her, she's barely hanging in there, she just has to live life for her family. They mattered more than anything and anyone right now. She won't let this break her. She won't let losing Robin end her life.

Though Ewen was right about one thing. She is living in an emotionless state. She can't let herself feel anything other than the love for her sons. She can't accept Ewen in her life because that was just too much of a commitment that she wasn't ready for. Finishing off her shift, Elizabeth heads to the hospital to check on her brother. He wanted to talk to her about something and she had just enough time to do so before she heads home to be with her boys.

"I thought I suspended you." Monica's insipid voice stops her from walking over to the nurses' desk.

"You did." Elizabeth states. "Doesn't mean I can't be in the hospital."

"You're wasting your time if you're here for Jason." Monica states, the judgement clearly in her voice. "He's with Sam and nothing you do will change that. He's already been discharged."

"You know what Monica, I'm so sick of your accusations and spiteful comments." Elizabeth snaps, having enough of Monica's judgements. "Who the hell are you to judge me? You look at me like you're some kind of saint, like you've never made any mistakes, but you're no better than me! So get off your high horse and back the hell off. Jason and I made the choice to keep Jake a secret. It was none of your business and, frankly, you weren't even part of Jason's life at the time. You didn't factor into my choices then and you don't factor into them now!"

_Go run, run, run_  
><em>I'm gonna stay right here,<em>  
><em>Watch you disappear<em>  
><em>Yeah, oh<em>  
><em>Go run, run, run<em>  
><em>Yeah, it's a long way down<em>  
><em>But I am closer to the clouds up here<em>

She could see that Monica was about to say something, but she cut her off before she could speak a word.

"No, you had your say! You believe we hurt you by keeping Jake's paternity a secret, but you hurt Jason worse than we could ever hurt you! You blamed him for Emily's death and you throw around accusations like our whole lives revolve yours!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "And as for your sainted Sam, she was the biggest danger to my boys. She watched Jake get kidnapped and said nothing! She hired two men to terrorize me and my boys just so we never became a true family with Jason. So before you start throwing around accusations, Monica, get your damn facts straight! You didn't know the whole story then and you probably will never know the whole story."

With that, Elizabeth walked away from Monica. She wasn't sorry for speaking her mind, it was the first true rush she's felt all month long. Elizabeth was just so tired of people passing judgement on her life as if they've never done things they regretted. Monica has no right to pass judgement on her lief and Elizabeth won't be anyone's punching bag anymore. She held her tongue because she was her boss and Jason's mother, but she was done. She's no one's fool and she won't be made to be the bad guy.

_You can take everything I have_  
><em>You can break everything I am<em>  
><em>Like I'm made of glass<em>  
><em>Like I'm made of paper<em>  
><em>Oh Oh<em>  
><em>Go on and try to tear me down<em>  
><em>I will be rising from the ground<em>  
><em>Like a skyscraper<em>  
><em>Like a skyscraper<em>

Not finding her brother, Elizabeth leaves him a message before heading to the docks to sit on the bench. She just needed to unwind before going home to her sons. She would be lying if she said she wasn't the least bit glad to see Jason sitting on the bench when she walked down the steps to the docks. He glances up at her, but doesn't speak. Jason moves over a little, giving her room to sit, and she takes the invite for what it is and sits down.

No words are spoken. They just sit there, together, existing. They both acknowledge the calmness that settles over them, both relishing in it, but neither voicing it. They didn't need words to understand how the other felt. They were still that connected to each other. A couple hours pass, Elizabeth realizes she's calm enough to head home and stands up. Jason follows suit, instinctively pulling her into his arms. Elizabeth gives into the hug for a moment, just resting her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

"Drive safe." he says softly, pulling away.

"Stay safe." she counters before turning away and heading to her car.

He watches her leave before making his way back to her studio. He hadn't realized it before, but sitting with her was exactly what he needed to keep the memories at bay. In that short time, Jason was able to just stay in the present and he was glad to have the escape. He tried to go see Sam, but he just couldn't bring himself to actually see her. The very thought of her just made him angry and guilty. So he walks the distance to Elizabeth's studio and locks himself inside. He'll try again tomorrow. For tonight he'll just focus on the wind and the winding road.

_Like a skyscraper_  
><em>Like a skyscraper<em>

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's Note<span>: Thanks for the reviews!**

**I really appreciate you taking the time to review my stories. Good or bad, lay it on me and let me know how you feel about this update.**

**Hope you liked the update.**

**Till next time...**

**Song: Skyscraper by Demi Lovato**


	4. Chapter 4

_Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you  
>By now you shoulda, somehow, realized what you gotta do<br>I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

Waking up in the early hours of the night, Jason sits up gasping for air. In his dream, he is the one that dies in the explosion. He's pounding on the glass of the door in the lab, trying anything to break free, but he can't.

He can feel his body burning, the flames swallowing him whole. Rubbing his temples, Jason stands up to stretch his body out of the tension it was currently in. Trudging into the bathroom, Jason strips down to his birthday suit and stands under the freezing cold water. He doesn't particularly care since he can barely feel it.

"Its me." Jason says into his cellphone once he's back on the bed. "I need to see you."

"Okay." his wife says quickly. "I'm at home if you want to..."

"No." Jason cuts her off. "Not there. Somewhere else."

"Um, how about Kelly's?" Sam suggested. "Of if you want somewhere more private, the park?"

"The park." Jason agrees quickly. "Meet me at the fountain."

_Back beat, the word is on the street that the fire in your heart is out  
>I'm sure you've heard it all before but you never really had a doubt<br>I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

Standing up, Jason grabs his jacket and walks out of the studio. He makes a few calls, calling in favors and stepping things up. Port Charles just wasn't a good place for him to be right now and he just had to get away. Hopefully after everything is said and done, she'll go away with him. Getting to the park, Jason waits on the bench by the fountain. The memories coming back full force as he sits there.

_And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
>And all the lights that lead us there are blinding<br>There are many things that I would like to say to you  
>But I don't know how<em>

**_. . . ._**

**_-1996-_**

**_"How can you think that you don't have feelings? That doesn't fit with the Jason I know." Robin looks at him visibly tensing up. "All I have to do is say the word feelings and you get all antsy."_**

**_"I don't get the point of feelings." Jason admits, turning to look at her. "They don't make anyone feel good."_**

**_"Sometimes they do."_**

**_. . . ._**

**_-2008-_**

**_"Good. I just have another thing to thank her for." Robin's smile is so bright, he doesn't understand why she wants him there so much._**

**_"So I'm gonna leave it up to you." he says with a slight smile._**

**_"Well if its up to me, I want you here."_**

**_. . . ._**

**_-1996-_**

**_"I promise, I'll always be waiting for you." Jason stares into her eyes, knowing the promise meant more than the words spoken._**

**_"I promise, I'll always come back." she says in that tone of hers, even he knows it means more than the words spoken._**

**_. . . ._**

"But you're not coming back." Jason sighs, rubbing his temples. "We've finally come to a place where we can be friends and you're just gone."

_Because maybe  
>You're gonna be the one that saves me<br>And after all  
>You're my wonderwall<em>

"Jason?" Sam's voice breaks through his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." he assures, moving over slightly to give her room to sit. "There's a lot we need to talk about."

Sam's not sure she wants to have this conversation, but sits down regardless. Jason doesn't really know how to say what he has to say and he wishes that he could be more articulate for this particular conversation. With a sigh, he speaks his mind and hopes she'll understand. He doesn't really expect her to, though, since he doesn't really understand a lot of it and its his thoughts.

"You just started working there." Audrey looks at Elizabeth confused. "What happened that you'd quit?"

"I really don't want to talk about it." Elizabeth throws her things to the side. "Thank you for staying with Aiden."

"You really don't have to thank me." Audrey says softly. "I can stay if you want some time to yourself."

"No." Elizabeth shakes her head. "I just need to spend some time with Aiden. We'll be fine."

"Okay." Audrey concedes, grabbing her things. "Call if you need me, okay?"

"I will." Elizabeth says as she picks up her son. "Drive safe."

_Today was gonna be the day but they'll never throw it back to you  
>By now you shoulda somehow realized what you're not to do<br>I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now_

Elizabeth holds her son close, relishing in the feel of holding him. As she's rocking him in her arms, her cellphone starts to ring, having her truly curious about who'd be calling. Of course it was the last person she'd ever guess it would be.

"Yeah?" she answers, laying Aiden in his crib.

"Hey." his voice replies. "Its me. You at home?"

"Yeah." she confirms, sitting down on the couch. "You okay?"

"I need to see you." he admits, starting up his car. "Can I come by?"

"Sure." she says without hesitation. "I'll be waiting."

_And all the roads that lead you there were winding  
>And all the lights that light the way are blinding<br>There are many things that I would like to say to you  
>But I don't know how<em>

Jason stands up from the bench long after Sam has walked away. This next conversation had to go better than the one he just had with Sam. Focusing on where he's headed, he hopes that it'll help keep the memories at bay. It worked before and he figured it may help again. Getting to where he was headed, Jason knocks on the door and smiles slightly when its pulled open almost immediately.

"Hey." he says softly, walking in when she steps aside.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Elizabeth asks, closing the door and turning to look at him.

"Yeah." Jason can see she's confused by him being there. "There's just something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Okay." Elizabeth walks over to sit with him on the couch. "I'm all ears."

_I said maybe  
>You're gonna be the one that saves me<br>And after all  
>You're my wonderwall<em>

Elizabeth didn't know what to think about Jason's proposition. So many times they found themselves in that position, both wanting to escape for a little while, but never going through with it. Sure, he may not be offering her Italy, but it was still amazing for him to want this now.

"It'll only be for the weekend." Jason explains. "What do you say?"

"Now?" Elizabeth looks at him curiously. "I don't understand...what about..."

"I need time away." Jason cuts her off. "And I want you to come with me...you and the boys. Will you please just say yes?"

"Yes." she blurts out before she can stop herself. "I can use time away too."

"Okay." Jason breathes a sigh of relief. "The flight leaves at noon. You pack up a couple bags for you and the boys and I'll go grab my stuff. We'll pick Cam up from school before he head to the airport."

Elizabeth is speechless and just shakes her head in agreement. She didn't know what this was about, but she needed to take some time away. Away from Matt and his crazy girlfriend, ex-girlfriend, whichever it was now. Away from Monica and her snide comments. Away from Ewen and his inability to grasp that he just might not know her better than she knows herself. Away from everyone and everything...even if its only for the weekend.

_I said maybe  
>You're gonna be the one that saves me<br>And after all  
>You're my wonderwall<em>

She calls her gram to let her know, leaving out that she's going with Jason, and packs up bags for her and the boys. When Jason gets there, they don't talk about it or anything, they just load up the SUV and buckle up Aiden in his carseat before taking off to pick up Cameron. It took a little run around, but soon enough they had him out of class.

"So how do you feel about taking a trip?" Elizabeth asks her son, Jason standing by.

"With him?" Cameron gestures to Jason.

"Yeah. Jason wants to take us to Disney World, isn't that nice?" Elizabeth smiles at her son, hoping he won't turn it down.

"Okay." Cameron shakes his head, getting into the car and buckling up.

"That was easier than I thought it would be." Elizabeth admits, standing up.

"Come on." Jason opens her door for her. "We've got a flight to catch."

"Right." Elizabeth chuckles, getting into the car before he closes the door. "Florida here we come."

_I said maybe_  
><em>You're gonna be the one that saves me<em>  
><em>You're gonna be the one that saves me<em>  
><em>You're gonna be the one that saves me<em>

Jason wasn't sure what this weekend would mean for him, all he knew was that he had to take a breather from his life and a weekend away with Elizabeth and her boys was pretty damn tempting at this point. He didn't care that everyone in Port Charles may very well implode with him out of town without notice, but he didn't care. He's told Sam that he needed time to think and breathe, that's enough notification as far as he was concerned. She hated him for putting distance between them, but it was better than fighting with her or worse...asking for a divorce.

No. He needs this time away. Elizabeth seems to be the only person he is able to stay in the present with and he needs that right now. He needs the memories to stop, even if its only for a weekend. Glancing over his shoulder at the boys and then at Elizabeth in the passenger seat, Jason knows that this weekend will be a good thing for both of them. Maybe all of them.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Author's Note<span>: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Not entirely sure about this update, but this is the fifth version I've written and its the best I've got for this.**

**Let me know what you think. Thanks!**

**Till next time...**

**Song: Wonderwall by Oasis**


End file.
